Unravelling The Myth Of "The Clean Break-Up".

I've just wrote this. It's about breaking up. It's not sexist or intentionally disrespectful to women, and it's not a generalisation. It's about two individual (fictional) people, yet I think people can relate to it. It was strangely inspired by Jarvis Cocker's "I Never Said I Was Deep" and "Where Do You Go To My Lovely" by Peter Sarstedt.

It's not one of my best, probably the opposite in fact, but I'm bored at work.


Unravelling The Myth Of "The Clean Break-Up".

Let's unravel the myth of "The Clean Break-Up"....

It's never easy, it's never simple, it's never gonna happen in any other way.
She'll scream and she'll shout and never listen to what you have to say.
Don't try to be decent, don't try to be nice, 'cause you're guaranteed to "ruin her life".
Just bite your tongue and zip your lips, and whatever you do, don't look at her tits.

Don't let him speak, don't let him apologise, don't let him talk.
You could sit and discuss, but you'd much rather sqwawk.
You know full well what he's trying to say, but he deserves to pay.
You understand what he's saying, though he is wrong.
Get angry, but don't cry, you've gotta be strong.

Let her say what she wants, and let her do as she wishes.
Play your cards right, or you'll sleep with the fishes.
She may kick, she may scratch, she may bite.
But always remember, it's a one-sided fight.
Don't hit her back, that is a disgrace.
Just be a man and guard your face.

How could he do this, make you look like a fool?
You've been so loyal, you always played ball.
He used you, he took what he wanted and left you cold.
And to think, this was the man with whom you'd have grown old.
He doesn't appreciate what he has - or rather, what he had.
He was always no good, why didn't you listen to your Dad?
He's just a ponce, a sponger, a prick.
He has shit sense of humour and an inadequate dick.
He's not a real man, he's just an overgrown boy.
You'll have nothing to miss, you've still got your toy.

Don't worry about your things, you'll have them soon.
They'll be scattered on the lawn via the window of your room.
She'll smash your CDs and rip your shirts,
'Cause she knows how to get you where it hurts.
She'll break your things, and leave the TV.
But it could be 50/50 with the PS3.

This was gonna be easy, or so he reckoned.
Well, fuck him. He's a not staying a moment longer, not a second.
Kick him out of the door, grab him by the scruff.
Not long after he'll be followed by his stuff.
Get rid of ever possession, every last thing.
Especially the PS3, that'll really sting.

You better walk away, in fact, you better run.
Sticking around won't be much fun.
She can't forgive you, you've broken her heart.
Just get outta there, c'mon, be smart.

That's it, fuck off, get away from this place.
And make sure you wipe that stupid fucking look off your face.
You're not wanted, you're not needed, you're the bain of my life.
And to think, I was thinking I'd one day be your wife.

She'll move on, soon or later.
Though, deep down, she'll always hate ya.
You've gotta be different, you've gotta be mature.
So make sure you don't tell your friends she's a whore.
Soon you'll realise this was all a farce.
Maybe you'd be better off gay, and deal with a different pain in the arse?
But perhaps you shouldn't lose faith, maybe you shouldn't give up.
However, that doesn't mean go shag a slag with a bucket for a vagina and a Double-G cup.

He's gone now. He's said his last farewell.
Now let your tears fill your heart's wishing well.
You've earned it my dear, you've been through enough.
It's ok now, you no longer have to be tough.
Let those tears stream, let them fall.
It's time for you to tear down that wall.
As you lay curled, and you sob and you cry,
Remember, your heart is broken, but you will not die.